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May
29th
Tue
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F_ck

  • R: Fuck.
  • H: You mean F(i)ck.
  • J: You mean Funderscorck.
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Proportions

  • Her: I'm a reading teacher.
  • Rae: For what size?
May
23rd
Wed
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Loki

  • Elkin: Tom Hiddleston's fucking gorgeous I tell ya! I blame tumblr for getting me obsessed with him and Benedict Cumberbatch. My ovaries are failing as we speak!
  • Pai: Your eggs are screaming.
  • Elkin: Yeah, they're screaming for some Hiddlesperm.
May
18th
Fri
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explore-blog: How common is your birthday? (ᔥ The Atlantic)

explore-blog:

How common is your birthday?

(ᔥ The Atlantic)

(Source: )

Apr
21st
Sat
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(Source: gagweed, via h-akanai)

Apr
12th
Thu
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Why do people say, “grow some balls”? Balls are weak and sensitive. If you want to be tough, grow a vagina. Those things can take a pounding.
— Betty White
Apr
7th
Sat
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Bill Cunningham on DIY Ponchos

  • Bill: She's in a rose, a black rose.
  • John Kurdewan: It's a garbage bag. What the hell you talking about, a rose?
  • Bill: What would you people from southern New Jersey know?
Apr
4th
Wed
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Glass Half Full

  • Her: I got cayenne pepper powder in my eye.
  • Him: Look on the bright side... with your other eye.
Apr
1st
Sun
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Fellow pedestrian

  • Her: Aren't you freezing?
  • Him: I feed penguins for a living.
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Drunk ramblings.

  • I can't stop farting in my room. It stinks like the hospital.